I dont even know

So basically the scoop is that Sean and I had a huge fight. I packed a bag and wanted to leave SO badly and never look back. My faith in love is shattered and my trust has been destroyed. I feel sick all the time. But I didnt leave. Because marriage isnt something that you can just walk away from. So I am here trying to fix it. But I feel so empty. I am so depressed. All I want to do is sleep. I get no joy from seeing my friends, watching my favorite shows, or even playing with savannah. I just want to crawl into a hole and die. I dont know what to do. I want things to be ok. I want to feel the same way that I used to feel when my husband looked at me and smiled... but it all feels cheap now. I hate it. I hate not having the will to laugh. And on top of it all I have to see Don tomorrow. I feel like I am going to throw up just thinking about it. Honestly I feel like my life right now could not get any harder. I just want everything to go away. I want it to be over... I want it all to be over...